I am back from Portland, arrived Saturday night at 8PM. It was a good and bad trip, I’ll explain the rest at a later date. A few hours after arriving home, I decided to go to bed, I discovered the pug that could possibly be the spawn of Satan, Buster, shat in my actual bed. I told my mother (who owns the dog and cleans up his shit), what he had done, she came flying in, cape and all, with plastic baggies and spray for the sheets. She laid a towel over the spot and told me to rest up. I did so. Then, this morning (to most I believe it is called “afternoon”) I awoke to the sound of squirting…I peered over to see what that sound was coming from, only to find out it was the squirt of greenish diarrhea shooting out of my boston terrier, Rosie. I contemplate whether I should just let her finish up so I can fall back asleep for the next three hours or rush her out of my room and out the door. With a sigh, I chose the latter. I was hungry, so I grabbed at Snack Pack chocolate pudding cup (what a choice..) and headed back to bed, stepping over the smelly, liquid, puddle of shit, and curling up until 3PM. I finally cleaned up the shit at about 7PM.

In case you hadn’t noticed, I’m lazy.