Being underage isn’t all that bad, for the most part. For the next 308 days, my parents are legally obligated to provide me with food, shelter, and care. I do not have to pay rent, I have no bills to speak of, I have health-insurance, and I am allowed to date, go to parties, and go to Waffle House at 6AM. I don’t mind not being able to buy cigarettes, since I don’t smoke. I don’t mind not being able to buy alcohol, since I rarely ever drink (for some reason, I end up having horrible leg pain whenever I do drink, even a couple beers). I don’t mind not being able to get a tattoo, since I don’t have the funds for it yet, and the waiting period gives me more time to consider if I really want it. I can’t buy porn, but hell, who buys porn these days anyway? There’s a whole world wide web filled to the brim with farting Brazillian chicks and any other kink you could imagine. What about strip clubs? Eh, if I want to see a bunch of white trash, washed up women with very little clothing on, I’ll go for a drive down Dickerson Road.

However, there is one thing about being underage that really bothers me: eighteen and up shows, or twenty-one and up shows. I love hearing live music, and in a city that’s renowned for being “Music City” there’s a lot of that. Sure, three quarters of it is country, but the remaining quarter is full of local bands and touring acts that I would love to see perform live. Most of them play at venues such as The Mercy Lounge/Cannery Ballroom, or Exit/In which serve beer and mixed drinks. I can enter any gas station that sells beer and has a number of creepy fellows outside drinking out of paper bags, I can enter a restaurant that serves beer and mixed drinks, yet I cannot enter a music venue that hosts live shows and happens to serve beer. That logic is totally lost on me.

I can understand legal liability issues. I can even understand the owners not wanting a bunch of underage punks hanging around, waiting for rides at 11PM. I understand it, but I don’t like it at all. I’d pay good money to see some shows, but because of the year I was born in, they lose out on my twelve bucks. Here’s some of the upcoming shows I’m NOT going to see, not even counting all of the Next Big Nashville Shows coming up in September.

The Dandy Warhols @ Mercy Lounge on 09/24
The Fratellis @ Exit/In on 09/24 (well, at least I’m not going to have to choose between these two)
The Faint @ Cannery Ballroom on 10/20
Cold War Kids @ Mercy Lounge on 10/21
Man Man @ Mercy Lounge on 10/22
Ben Kweller @ Mercy Lounge on 10/23
The Features @ Mercy Lounge on 10/24
Girl Talk @ Cannery Ballroom on 11/6

Why couldn’t I have been born in 1990?